Archive for September, 2008
bruce campbell, truth teller
16 Sep, 2008 • posts i've written • No comments
“For five years you’re trapped like a rat, in this lovely cage with silky paper on the bottom of it and a golden door that’s always locked … Everyone takes good care of you, but you can’t go anywhere.”
Funny, that’s the exact way I describe living in New York. I just need a vacation, STAT.
mcconaughey
05 Sep, 2008 • posts i've written • 1 comment
I’ve been nursing a new concept for television situational comedy. It’s a vehicle for one of the greatest actors of our generation, and surely our most prolific nude bongo player; his prowess in netting the hottest of Hollywood’s starlets precedes him, and he, like Madonna, Prince and Mr. T, need only be known by one name: McConaughey.
The gist: Three’s Company meets Dharma & Greg meets Joey meets Growing Pains meets Two and a Half Men.
While living in Portland, Matt (Mathew McConaughey) experiments with new ways of living, like being vegan (ewww), riding a bicycle everywhere (weird!) and wearing only organic clothes. (as if!) While Matt struggles, hilariously, with his new lifestyle, he also begins to fall in love with his Aunt and Uncle’s next door neighbor, Alice the high school principal (Josie Davis, aka Sarah Powell from Charles in Charge — what a comeback!) and becomes a mentor to the neighborhood hooligan, Jimmy (Haley Joe Osment).
Although Matt feels a deeper connection with Alice and Jimmy, he still gets in trouble with his old ways of sleeping with beautiful strangers, drinking and covorting with his famous friends (Lance Armstrong makes an appearance in the pilot), and generally being a shallow but always lovable human being.
I even have the theme song picked out. Here’s a taste:
Replace the low “ma na ma na”s with “McConaughey”
Listen to it and hum it to yourself and see if you can get it out of your head.
Now I need your help to make this over-indulged dream a reality! Pass on this link, Digg this page, Stumble it, send it to all of your TV exec friends, etc, etc.
And Matthew, I’m in no way dimishining your talents by putting you on the small screen. Consider it an option for later in your career, when you get tired of all those amazing movie offers.
flickr find: disinterested pug with found objects
03 Sep, 2008 • posts i've written • 1 comment
Today while browsing Flickr, I came across a photo set by Zoomar of his pug Roscoe and random found objects.
Roscoe is the modern pug in a modern world. Browse the full set of over 100 photos.
the parallel lives of kermit and christian
02 Sep, 2008 • posts i've written • No comments
Who knew Kermit the Frog and Christian Bale lead such similar lives. I just hope Kermit didn’t punch Mrs. Frog in the face. Unless she deserved it.
He’s a method actor, he gets into the DNA of the character. Muppets Take Manhattan? Kermit lived with Joey Ramone and got addicted to blow and painkillers for two years before he could commit to that performance. How can you judge him? He’s the greatest muppet of our generation.
enough is enough, youtube trolls
02 Sep, 2008 • posts i've written • 3 comments
When I get very frustrated, I say a little chant to be more tolerant. A sorta ‘serenity now’. But I’m no Hare Krishna. And I’m certainly no George Harrison. Sometimes my frustration gets the best of me, and I have to blog it out.
I was perusing The Guardian’s 50 Greatest Arts Videos on Youtube, and quite enjoying Ian Curtis and Joy Division perform Shadowplay on Granada Reports when I scrolled down to read the comments. Bad mistake.
As you may or may not know, I have seriously backed down from my pro stance on forced sterilization after running for student vice president in seventh grade, but I may just need to fit myself for a size twelve flip flop.
Tell me, youtube trolls, 4SergioBonner4 and richard40567, if those are your real names, is it your apparent lack of anything close to musical taste or your butchering of our Lord’s language that should warrant your continued existence? Youtube should just allow the option of leaving a generic troll comment, something like, “I’m an utter moron that apparently attempts to make up for the fact that I was born with defective mutant genitalia (looks like a chicken neck) with inane blunderings on video sharing websites.”
Serenity now. Serenity now.
I’m verklempt, talk amongst yourselves and enjoy the clip.
