a question for the ladies
December 9th, 2009 • posts i've written
For the married, soon to be married, or the ever-to-consider it…
On the question of taking your husband’s last name (some ladies still do that right?)… how much is your online brand a part of your decision? Has it lead you to consider the hyphen double name more?
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12 Responses (add your comment)
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Absolutely not. I love the internets dearly, but real life still trumps digital life, at the end of the day.
Plus, if I care so much as to have thought of SEO implications of taking my man’s name, I would imagine that I’d be Google-savvy enough to make the SEO work regardless of last name.
This, of course, coming from a lady who does not use her last name in her online brand
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I kept my married name post-divorce because I married so young and had only ever been known in the working world under this name. Plus it sounds cooler than my maiden name. At this point, I don’t see me changing again unless it really bothered the guy. And if he’s that insecure what am I doing with him anyway!
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To answer your tweet, I think it’s more of an overarching issue with the whole of my identity (online being just a small part of it). If it looks more balanced, sounds better etc., I’ll definitely use it as an opportunity to “improve” my brand…but I’m not the most sentimental girl.
While I didn’t actively consider it, I’m sure a few passing thoughts about marriage influenced me using mostly my first name for url’s, usernames, etc.Since my work is but a face of me, I also wouldn’t mind using my own last name professionally like Erica mentioned.
Would be cool if search systems were somehow smart enough to know that Ash Huang and Ash Whateverhisnamewillbe are one person, and have search results reflect that. Google’s supposed to be user-centric anyway, isn’t it? I know it’s not that simple, but it seems like it could be a logical next step in sorting how people are searched for in general vs. information or products.
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“Since my work is but a face of me, I also wouldn’t mind using my own last name professionally like Erica mentioned.”
Thanks for mentioning that, Ash– I was getting nervous that I was the only one thinking this kind of thing.
I wouldn’t want Dude to think that SEO was more important than my union with him… but come on, I’ve done good work under this name. Authors do it…
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I don’t think it’s a new thing (that we should blame or be mad at search engines, etc for). I think it’s a bigger question about how our culture ties identity to name (but then only asks women to change their name).
I would never have thought to pin it on the system. I can’t imagine (yet) an engine that, say, gives results for my NEW name when you search my OLD name.
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Donna Parker December 9, 2009at 3:25 pm
I have had my last name for 60 years—thirty of those being married. I don’t think there is ANY valid argument for a woman to change her name. Ask the guys if they would consider changing their name…you would get very few men who would think of changing…and those few would probably consider a hyphenated name, instead of an outright name change. Maintaining your given name is very simple; the genealogists would have any easier job, as would anyone attempting to search you out on the http://www……..
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@dgersh December 9, 2009at 6:42 pm
I took my husband’s name not for tradition or for him; I took it, very simply, so I could have the same name as the kids I knew we’d eventually have.
At that same time in my life, I was transitioning from grad school (and a whole knowledge network of people) to professional life. Seven years later I still need to make sure all those connections from grad school can still find me via search.
It would also be nice if my professional contacts now could find my “old self” (and the work I did under that name) by search, rather than by me having to hyphenate or self promote.
I never thought about blaming the Google engineers… but I do think Facebook is a bit obnoxious in that sense. I’ve noticed that girls I went to high school with have hyphenated just on Facebook so people recognize them. Kind of an annoying practice.
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A very basic question to address Bud’s search engine sexism question: How is taking your husband’s name inherently sexist?
My “maiden” name (don’t even get me STARTED on that term) is a man’s name. It was foisted upon me at birth. I had no say in it.
When I took my ex-husband’s name years and years ago, it was because I chose to. I felt no pressure to do so–I liked his family, I liked his name, and it was more interesting (and less common) than my father’s surname.
I still have it, even though I am married to someone else now. I doubt I’ll change it since it’s been my name all though my professional career.
It’s my choice. Freedom of choice, in addition to equality, is what feminism is all about, in my opinion. Keep your name if you want, take your husband’s name if you want, have your husband take yours if you want, make up an entirely new name if you want.
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This is a topic I’ve been battling for a while. I’ve been married for 5 years and have not taken my husband’s last name because I feel it’s the last tie to my roots. I’m first generation American, with Cuban parents, and I guess I’ve felt connected to my heritage through my maiden name. My last name is Hernandez and my husband’s is Wellington. I feel though as I’ve been overlooked as “just another Hispanic” when I send in my resume and they read my name- Yesenia Hernandez. So for this reason, I am considering taking my husband’s name, Wellington, because it sounds more professional. I’ve actually even been told this by friends of ours.
As far as online “brand” goes, Mysticaldaze is what I’ve been using, so my actual name isn’t really a factor in this aspect, but as far as the corporate world is concerned, I think it does matter.
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I’m planning on keeping my maiden name for my professional and my online life (because the two are so inextricably interlinked) but taking my boyfriend / husband-to-be’s name for family life as I would want to have the same name as my kids. I’ve built up equity throughout my career that I think would be harmed if I changed my name professionally, and I realise it’s quite schizophrenic to have two names, but I think it’s pretty common to be Ms So and So professionally but Mrs Husband for family and private life….
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Yes, I’ve definitely thought about it. I think what I would end up doing is keeping my own last name (and my whole web reputation, as fledgling as it may be) for internet stuff (like a pen name), and taking his name for IRL stuff.
Maybe.