my absence may kill you

February 24th, 2010 • posts i've written

I’ll be offline for the next two days doing something special …

Unfortunately, according to experts and research and robots that predict the future, without me you may suffer massive heart failure.

That’s because, without me, dear reader, you may die of boredom:

Those who reported they had been very bored were two and a half times more likely to die of a heart problem than those who hadn’t reported being bored.

In other news, state officials in Kentucky are trying to remove the section about ‘not having taken part in a duel with deadly weapons’ from the oath of elective office. Obviously somebody shot somebody and now wants to be Governor. Stay awesome, Kentucky.

Oh that’s a funny coincidence. H____ bomb is the subtitle of the next season of The Jersey Shore.

The bleak just gets bleaker.

Yeah!!! What he said.

Not my particular brand of crazy, but kudos to you, man who skied down everest.

This is more my pace, I am considering a move to Germany to administer aid to fallen sledders.

This makes noise.

Whew. I’ve done my best to save your life. Godspeed.

Related posts:

1. kill it with fire
2. google buzz kill
3. j.d. salinger, 1919-2010

Trackback URI.